[Part 1]

Host: Hey, we’re live back on MuchMusic with Radiohead and our ‘Much’ audience. How are you guys doing? [audience cheers] All right! All right, this is Radiohead, as you can see, and let’s introduce everybody. How are you?

Ed: I’m fine. I’m Ed.

Host: Ed… And this is Phil.

Phil: I’m fine, I’m Phillip.

Thom: Hi.

Host: Hello. Thom…

Jonny: Hello. Jonny.

Host: Jonny…

Colin: Colin.

Host: And Colin! All right, well, we weren’t expecting everybody. We’re glad everyone did drop by, though, into our frigid Toronto today.

Thom: Frigid, did you say?

Host: Frigid, yes. Don’t you find it a little cold?

Thom: Frigid, yes! [laughs]

Host: Yes! It is frigid! So um… so how’s life going for you guys? Is it good? Are you happy with the way your music has taken off? Is it sweet, is it everything you wanted?

Jonny: Aww, lovely.

Host: It’s lovely?

Jonny: Thank you, yes.

Ed: Lovely.

Host: [chuckles] They’re so polite! And Thom’s having a spot of tea right now.

Thom: Yep.

Host: Which is perfectly suitable for our Brit-fit day.

Thom: Brit-fit?

Host: Yes, we’re playing all-British music today.

Thom: Yes, yes, we’ve been watching it!

Jonny: Really enjoying it.

Ed: What was the other name you were going to use?

Host: I can’t say it.

Ed: I think you can!

Host: No! You can say it!

Thom: You’re in a rock band.

Ed: Uh… what was it… Union Jack-off!

Phil: …Union Jack-off, something like that.

Thom: Union Jack-off day! Yeah! It’s better! [everyone laughs]

Host: I like that name!

Thom: It’s good! It’s better.

Host: We didn’t think it was appropriate.

Thom: Oh, really? Have we done something wrong? Sorry about that. Okay.

Host: No… we’re just trying to be polite.

Thom: Okay, sorry.

Host: Don’t worry about it.

Thom: Yep.

Host: Um… well, let’s see, this is the new album [holds up The Bends]. It’s not so new anymore…

Thom: No… heh.

Host: …but it’s the latest album, The Bends. Now, when you guys have such a big success with Pablo Honey, are you relieved that this one has also been a success, and it’s been critically well-received?

Thom: It was critically better received, ‘cause it’s a better album, fortunately. And… we’re kind of happier, really. Wasn’t just the strength of the one song, and so on. And we got better as a band, and that’s good. Now we’re ready to do the next one, I think. Aren’t we? Soft of pretty much thanks very much… [everyone chuckles] We’ve had a year… we’re pretty burnt out, actually. The fuses are going, and so on. So we’re ready to do the next one.

Host: You’re ready to do the next one?

Thom: Yes. This is sort of the end of the stint.

Host: Yeah.

Thom: So if we can’t think of anything to say, it’s ‘cause we’re burnt out.

Host: Yeah. Well, that’s understandable. You’ve been pretty busy. That’s why I asked how life was going.

Thom: Oh, yeah.

Host: Because, I mean, you try to go for something, then when you get it, is it what you expected?

Ed: [pause] Yeah.

Thom: Augh!

Ed: I dunno! [Thom laughs]

Colin: Be careful what you wish for, because you might get it…

Thom: Yeah, careful what you wish for, definitely.

Colin: Jarvis Cocker was interviewed in a magazine called Attitude in the UK and he said some similar things… you know, you wish for all of your life and then it starts happening and you realise maybe you don’t want all of it. But yeah…

Host: Yeah, it’s a monkey’s paw, isn’t it?

Colin: Yeah. Yeah…

Host: So, when… now with perspective, what do you guys think about the success of ‘Creep’? What did it do to you? I mean, we see the obvious pros. What were the cons?

Thom: Um… the pros were – we got to make another album, which is stunningly brilliant.

Jonny: I think it frightened us into getting much better, actually, which is a good thing, really, rather than getting complacent.

Host: That’s a good point.

Ed: I mean, it’s only in the last couple of months that people haven’t been speaking about ‘Creep’, either, which is quite weird. But in a way now, we’ve gotten over that, and in hindsight it was a very good test for the band, ‘cause we were in a position whereby we sold a lot more records than we ever thought, and there was this intense pressure, but we’re through that now, so…

Host: Phew!

Ed: Yeah.

Jonny: There’s…

Host: You had two other… go ahead?

Jonny: There’s a bloke in the audience over there with like, glasses on?

Ed: [laughs]

Jonny: We’d like to choose him [???]…

Thom: Come on, this bloke.

Jonny: This is Tim.

Thom: You do not fit in here!

Host: Say hello, Tim!

Jonny: This is Tim, who picked us up in a transit van about four… three years ago?

Ed: He’s our tour manager…

Jonny: Took us to our first ever tour?

Ed: He’s our tour manager.

Jonny: He is our tour manager.

Colin: He used to work with Slowdive and a load of bands from Reading.

Thom: Anyway, sorry about that, carry on, sorry!

Host: No, that’s quite all right! Tim has done his share of the work. [everyone claps, Ed laughing]

Colin: Round of applause for Tim!

Thom: Yes…

Host: And besides, he’s perched himself right there on that chair…

Thom: Yes he has a tendency to do that…

Host: …between all these lovely audience members.

Thom: Yes.

Host: Um…

Thom: We’re not making it difficult for you, are we?

Host: No not at all!

Thom: Okay, great.

Host: Enjoying this. Well, this question has to be asked, and I doubt you’re gonna answer it, but it has to be asked. What is the guy saying?!

Jonny: He says… [starts mouthing]

Host: No, no! What does it say? [reads] ‘Don’t tell her what he says’… [everyone laughs] Okay, let’s see that!

Jonny: Which, ironically, is exactly what he does say! He does say that. So that’s good.

Colin: He says that, yes, exactly that.

Jonny: Those words.

Host: Does he say that?

Thom: If we told you, you’d lie down too. So we’re not gonna tell you.

Host: I was thinking of asking, well, isn’t there anybody in the house who reads lips? Do you? [points] Both of you? How come you read lips?

Girl: We have a deaf friend.

Host: You have a deaf friend? So, is that what he says? No? Do you know what he says? Go ahead, speak!

Girl: We have a guess…

Thom: If you do…

Host: You’re in trouble! [everyone laughs]

Girl: Well, I’m afraid we can’t say anything! She’s… no…

Girl 2: We would prefer not to!

Host: Oooh! All right, well, I think it’s better left as a mystery.

Thom: Life needs mysteries.

Host: Yeah, of course. But… why don’t we see one of your other videos right now?

Thom: Okay.

Host: Would you like to take a little break and check that out? ‘High & Dry’?

Thom: Yes.

Host: Radiohead? Okay. We’ll be back with lots more Radiohead in just a minute. You got that one rolling? [Off: it’s rolling! Off 2: one… two…]

Thom: Two.

[Part 2]

Host: We've got Radiohead in the house. So, now, when you guys make it big, people always compare you to other bands. What are some of the most outrageous comparisons that have been made?

Jonny: Queen?

Host: The Queen?

Jonny: Queen, there're great.

Host: Just Queen?

Ed: Mott the Hoople...

Thom: We'd love to be Queen.

Ed: Mott the Hoople.

Host: Mott the Hoople...

Ed: I've never heard any of their stuff...

Thom: No, I haven't either...

Host: Sounds a lot like Mott the Hoople!

Ed: Yeah...

Jonny: Queen's pretty accurate though, isn't it?

Thom: Yeah... Oh, yeah.

Host: You guys think you sound like Queen?

Thom: I've got a chest that's just exactly like Freddie's.

Jonny: Wow.

Thom: Wow..!

Host: There's also people saying you're like U2.

Thom: Yeah. Yeah. We're better, but you know.

Host: You're better! [laughs] You're very modest, too!

Jonny: I feel very rude to have standing people behind me...

Host: Does it feel weird?

Jonny: Very rude, yes.

Host: You're turning your back on the audience!

Thom: They're not bad looking, aren't they? Let's face it.

Host: Well, actually, we're going to take some questions from the audience right now. You guys ready? Does anybody have a question?

Thom: That was a neat link, Jon...

Jonny: Thanks!

Question: Hi! I just want to say that I felt really bad about you guys getting all your equipment stolen, so... sorry about that! And I just wanted to say that, I heard that there's a Phil Selway fanclub in Japan? I just wonder what the rest of the band members think of that?

Phil: The other band members? Well, I have to... [points at the others]

Jonny: We're all members, what can we say? Phil Is Great, it's called.

Phil: Yes, I call you a bit of a member, yeah, don't I?

Jonny: Oh, thank you.

Thom: Careful...

Jonny: Yeah, it's called the Phil Is Great Fanclub... P.I.G., unfortunately.

Phil: PIG Club, yes.

Host: The PIG Club...!

Thom: But we don't... we don't name it to him like that at all.

Jonny: No, it's very...

Phil: It's not an extensive fanclub as of yet, it's only got 14 members, but I'm working on the international dimensions.

Host: And they're all cousins! [everyone laughs]

Ed: They've all got these laminated cards with Phil's signature on it and they're all numbered. They start at 1000, so it's very good...

Host: It just makes it seem like a bigger fanclub! All right, thank you for that question. Anybody else? Over here?

Thom: Hello.

Question: Hi! I was wondering about the Oxford scene? 'Cause um... just bands like Swervedriver and Supergrass... so um...

Thom: It's good you mention Swervedriver there, yeah!

Question: Thank you. So do you think it's like the next Seattle or something, for England?

Thom: It's too small. You couldn't fit all those people with silly goatees in one place like that. [everyone laughs] It's too small and...

Jonny: Too varied...

Thom: ...there's nowhere to play, and the only reason bands come out of Oxford is... er... er... luck.

Jonny: I dunno, the bands are too diverse. There's a good death metal band, there's quite a good house, sort of, dance band.

Host: What's it called?

Jonny: Death metal band called Seven Church.

Host: Metal Church?

Jonny: Seven Church. It's just... very varied. There's no similar bands in Oxford really.

Host: It's funny you should mention death metal bands...

Jonny: Not that I listen to any of it!

Host: No, no, of course not! Not that I host a show that plays death metal bands, at all...

Jonny: Really? Cracking.

Host: What about... I mean, obviously you guys came out of Oxford. It's not just a university town. There's gotta be a scene happening somewhere?

Ed: Er... no... it's not a scene... as Jonny said, it's very diverse. Lots of different bands, and that's it. I think at one stage there were like 18 signed bands in Oxford and there are only 100,000 people living in Oxford. Which is... just quite bizarre...

Host: I heard it's beautiful, though. It's a beautiful town.

Thom: It's very beautiful, yeah. It's very beautiful, especially in summer when it's crammed with tourists.

Host: Ah, yeah.

Thom: That's really... nice...

Host: Right. We'll visit after September.

Thom: Uh, I dunno, it's just where we live. It's not London. That's why we stay there. 'Cause it's not London, but it's near enough, and there's no other reason. I don't really think there's an Oxford scene, really. At all. Much.

Jonny: Next question?

Thom: Next question! But thanks for asking!

Host: Next question!

Thom: This is just like Saturday Superstar, which was a kids' programme when we were young...

Question: Where do you think you would be if it wasn't for your music?

Jonny: Sorry?

Thom: Eh?

Ed: Where would we be without...

Question: Where do you think you would be if it wasn't for your music?

Jonny: Where would we be?

Host: What would you be doing if it wasn't for music?

Thom: I'd be living in Dartmoor.

Host: Doing what?

Thom: Uh... communing with nature. [everyone giggles]

Jonny: Crickey...

Ed: Crickey.

Host: Communing with nature, heh.

Phil: We saved you, Thom!

Host: What about you?

Ed: I'd probably be Christmas shopping at this moment, I reckon. Something like that.

Host: You can do that just when you leave!

Ed: Yeah.

Host: What about you, Phil?

Phil: Um... god... I'd host your death metal show with you, actually. [everyone giggles]

Host: Yeah? All right! Metal Church and Sepultura! What do you guys think, anything you want to add to that?

Jonny: I'd be... heading for my last year of university. I had to leave to do this.

Host: What were you studying?

Jonny: Uh... music and psychology.

Host: Music and psychology?

Jonny: Yeah.

Host: Great!

Thom: In that order.

Jonny: In that order.

Host: Colin?

Colin: I'd probably still be at university... [Thom laughs]

Host: What did you take?

Colin: English!

Host: English?

Jonny: Colin's my older brother, if you...

Host: Yes!

Colin: I got this badge, in Oxford.

Host: "I have a baby brother"!

Colin: That's him.

Host: Just incase anybody didn't know.

Colin: Yeah.

Host: What would you like to say?

Question: What exactly happened when your equipment was stolen? What was the whole situation? How did it happen? Were you guys playing a concert, and...

Thom: Eh?

Host: What happened when the equipment was stolen?

Thom: Oh! Ah...

Jonny: What happened was that we...

Ed: We do think someone just came along and pulled it away... haha.

Host: Yeah...

Thom: We woke up in the morning and someone said, 'Your gear's been nicked'.

Jonny: Apparently it's the um... it's a popular new crime in America to just go to hotels and steal big vans. Because usually it's someone moving house, or someone just moving valuable stuff around, and we just had it stolen like that. They just stole the big rental van. We just went out and bought new equipment, missed about four shows and carried on.

Host: Yeah, it's pretty lousy. It's terrible, especially when it happens to a band just starting out with absolutely no money at all. Really disheartening.

Ed: Yeah.

Host: So...

Jonny: Like Polly Harvey. She was on one of her first tours of England, PJ Harvey. She was using her dad's van, who's a builder. A building van. And they had all their stuff stolen in Manchester, including the guitar she learned to play on.

Host: Oh, great.

Ed: A gunpoint.

Host: A gunpoint, too?

Jonny: Yeah, not good.

Host: Oh, so not only in North America...

Thom: Yeah, Manchester's a dodgy place, Manchester...

Jonny: Except for Oasis...

Host: Anyone else?

Question: Um... I'm just glad that you guys are back in Toronto, and I wanted to know if you guys had girlfriends and how old you guys are? [everyone laughs]

Thom: Uh... too old and yes thanks! Is that right?

Jonny: Think so.

Host: Too old... wait... 'if you have girlfriends and how old you are'... 'too old' [laughs]

Jonny: To have girlfriends.

Host: ...and 'yes, thank you', for girlfriends. Hmm... personal question time!

Thom: Okay, sorry, not old enough and yes we're all single. [laughter]

Host: No girlfriends at all?

Thom: Haven't got none at all and we're really horny.

Jonny: I've got Colin!

Host: You've got Colin!

Jonny: I've got my brother, that's all I need.

Colin: I look after him. Then he started drinking recently...

Thom: Yeah, don't get... if you want to score with Jonny, just get him drunk.

Colin: Yeah. Easy. Easy drink.

Host: Well, you know...

Thom: But thanks for asking!

Host: People always want to know about your personal life. Do you find it difficult to...

Jonny: Have one?

Host: Do you try and keep that seperate?

Colin: We don't have a personal life!

Host: Because I know the British press loves to, you know, eat its own alive. I just want to quote this...

Thom: Eat its own alive?

Host: When you first came out, British press said... dubbed you 'ugly ducklings of rock, five badly-dressed misfits who look like they belong in a police line-up'. [everyone laughs]

Colin: And that was a good review! The guy liked us, that was Stephen Mack in Select, and he liked us. He's a fan.

Host: What do they think of you now?

Jonny: We're ugly, aren't we?

Thom: Oh, the same! But now they resentfully have to write about us which is a pretty cool situation to be in. But let's face it, there's not many people who would have a haircut like this, I think.

Colin: And pay for it.

Host: Can I touch?

Thom: Well, it'll fall apart if you do, but...

Host: [reaches out and pokes Thom's hair] Well, we've got to go now, we've run out of time. Thank you very much for dropping by!